Boots, boots, everywhere, but never the ones I need

Compared to my non-geek friends, I'm really not that into shoes. Admittedly, I probably have 30 or 35 pairs of them, but that stems more from my pathological inability to throw away things that might someday be useful for a costume than it does from any great love of shoes. (I'm not joking: just last weekend I salvaged an atrocious linen jacket from my mom's castoffs and stuck it in my boyfriend's closet, just in case someone we know ever happens to throw a Miami Vice themed party.) So I believe that my shoe collection is quite moderate, considering.

But I do, at last count, own eight pairs of boots. I ordered another pair online just now, which will bring the total to nine. The problem is that no matter how many I acquire, I never seem to have quite the style required to imitate the character I'm creating a costume of. Take the first pair, for instance. Knee-high black leather with a side zip and three-inch chunky heels, I begged my mom for them when I was seventeen and desperate to be Buffy. (If memory serves, I used to wear them with a black mini and a spaghetti-strap tank top with appliqued butterflies. Shudder.) The next two pairs didn't actually have a lot to do with costuming - apparently at nineteen I though pain was sexy. There's certainly no other excuse for the stiletto-heeled torture chambers I bought (in black leather and camel suede both, just to cover all possible outfits). But I still have them, just in case. Next came knee-high slouchy brown suede boots with stacked heels, then Italian leather boots in a rich chocolate that were secondhand and impossible to resist. Then last year I decided to dress up as Raven from Teen Titans at Comic-Con, which required low-heeled ankle boots that I found at Hot Topic. And then I found a perfect pair of Resident Evil Alice boots and decided to make a costume to go with them. The last pair (before today) were tall black leather creations wrapped in more scraps of black leather and studded. I don't know what they're for, but it's probably post-apocalyptic. Does Daryl Hannah wear boots in Blade Runner?

Despite this seemingly comprehensive collection, I still end up needing a new pair for almost every kick-ass heroine I want to dress up as. I did use the Buffy boots to be Black Canary two Halloweens ago, but that costume was basically a cop-out. (If you want to try it, all you need is boots, fishnets, a good black swimsuit, and a bolero. True, only hardcore DC fans will know who you are, but everyone will be impressed by your willingness to walk around in the outfit I've just described.) All of my other boots have yet to be reused for costume purposes.

The lack of versatility would bother me less if it wasn't for one thing: men. My boyfriend owns two pairs of boots: one black leather and medieval-style, the other brown suede and Indian-style. With just those boots, he's been Tybalt from Romeo and Juliet, an evil pirate named Rodrigo, a noble (generic) cavalier, a random masked warrior, an elemental Earth spirit, and Madmartigan from Willow. The only reason he's considering a new pair is that the sole is coming off one of the black ones, and electrical tape can only get you so far.

But today I started working on my American McGee's Alice costume, and as I looked at the images pulled up on Google, I realized with a sinking heart that her boots lace or buckle all the way up to the knee. All of mine are either too short, or zip-fastened. Pair number nine, here I come. Let's just hope I can hold off on number ten until I throw that party for the last episode of Battlestar Galactica.

Until then, I'll be working on my wig collection.