Boredom, Frustration, and Moral Outrage

While I'm still geeking out over Halloween, my daily thought processes are steadily marching towards the unremittingly political. Especially because it's a lot more acceptable to be caught reading nytimes.com at work than trolling eBay listings for costume pieces. (Well, at least it is in my head. I'm sure my company would actually prefer me to be, you know, working.) Beyond browsing up-to-the-minute updates of CNN's electoral vote map, though, there's not a lot I can do about the presidential election. I'm registered to vote, I've signed up for my mail ballot, and I've made sure my boyfriend's all set as well. California's not a swing state, though, so unless there's an unforeseen catastrophe we'll go blue as usual.

Despite my mostly futile musings on the deeply important general election, though, I did come across two advertisements today that managed to morally offend me (and believe me, that takes some doing. Mostly I feel that everyone should be able to do anything they want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else and isn't stupid. Unfortunately, there's a whole lot of stupid out there). The first, unsurprisingly, was an ad for Yes On Prop 8. For the uninitiated, California Proposition 8 would amend the California constitution to define marriage as only between a man and a woman. The ad in favor of it shows a little girl coming in to show her mom what she learned at school that day. She's holding a storybook with two frogs on it, with a title I can't quite recall - "King Meets King" or something like that. She says to her mom, happily, "Today at school I learned that a prince can marry a prince. And someday I can marry a princess!" (That's not verbatim, just the best I can recall.) And her mom frowns sternly and takes the book, as an old white guy comes onscreen to tell us that if gays continue to be allowed to marry, gay marriage will be taught in schools, as part of California curriculum - just like what happened in Massachusetts.

There are a number of infuriating things about this ad. First of all, what's so bad about being like Massachusetts? It hasn't exploded or fallen off the continent. It isn't even holding giant orgies in fields. And it somehow managed to produce Mitt Romney (though admittedly, he was fully formed before they legalized gay marriage. Maybe it wouldn't be able to elect a governor like him now. Hmm... still not seeing the downside). Secondly, at what point do California schools teach about marriage? I attended twelve years of California public schools, and I don't remember marriage being mentioned more than once or twice. I certainly wasn't taught it was my responsibility as a good citizen to get married and pop out kids. I think it might have been mentioned in grade school social studies - as in, a married couple and their children make up a household, and a number of households make a neighborhood, neighborhoods make a town, etc. But it hardly matters what gender the couple is for that kind of thing. And then, third - using that cute little girl is so clearly a scare tactic. The evil gays will corrupt your children! If by "corrupt" you mean show them that not everyone lives by the same value set, then yes, they will. And it's going to happen whether they're allowed to get married or not. Unless you plan to homeschool your children until they die, or lock them in a closet, they're going to meet gay people. And bisexuals and transvestites and people who get off on dressing up as horses and whipping each other with riding crops. Either your value set is strong enough to withstand these temptations, or it's not. (Or it's fundamentally flawed, but that's a different discussion.) Every religion has prohibitions that aren't reflected in state law. Catholics don't eat meat on Fridays, but it's not illegal. Mormons don't drink caffeine at all, but it's legal even in Utah. The point is, there are many things we don't do because we think they're wrong, not because the penal code forbids them. Teach your kids right and wrong (however you define it - it's legal to make your kids bigots if you want to. See how great freedom is?), and they'll be fine. Don't depend on the state to raise your kids.

Weirdly, the other ad that enraged me wasn't even political. In fact, it was so odd that at first I thought it was a spoof. But the punchline never came. This morning on my way to work, I heard an ad for a website called ashleymadison.com. It's a dating site, like match.com or chemistry.com, but with a twist. It's specifically for people in committed relationships, looking to hook up with each other for no-strings-attached fun. Its trademarked tagline is "Life is short. Have an affair." I'm pretty liberal - see my philosophy above - but excuse me?!?! WTF?!? Sadly, I'm pretty sure this indicates the fall of the American Empire and possibly Western Civilization as we know it (we've already destroyed Iceland, people). But that's okay, we'll all be too busy watching the circuses (henceforth referred to as "TMZ") to notice.

Until next time,
Fuming in Futility
(a.k.a. The Girl, wearing an Uncle Sam top hat. She likes hats.)