Work Blogging

I’ve just realized that my unproductive and irrational work habits are multiplying, which makes me feel guilty and a little sad. On the other hand, when I confront their ludicrousness head-on, I’m amused… for the ten seconds or so it takes me to realized how pathetically not-funny most of them are.

Just now, for instance, I got up from my desk, momentarily cheered by the thought of being away from my cubicle, and drifted toward the office supplies in my usual fog of depressed sleepy ennui. I needed window envelopes; there were fifteen or twenty in a sorter with a variety of other envelopes, but that didn’t seem like enough. (I just counted – I actually needed fourteen.) So I hunted through a couple of cabinets until I found the box holding the rest of the supply, and grabbed as many as I could hold in one hand. Looking at the pile I’d just snatched up, I thought, isn’t it funny that I seem to take more of these at a time whenever I run out? And then I followed that thought to its logical conclusion and realized that some primitive part of my back-brain seemed to believe that if I just took enough, someday I would never need to get window envelopes again. Which is obviously absurd, so I was amused. And then depressed again by what passes for amusement.

And now I’ve actually bored myself writing this, which is another excellent reason not to blog at work, beyond the possibility of getting caught and the questionable ethics of using time in which I am being paid to do something else. I am BORING at work. My complete and utter lack of interest in the job actually just translates into complete and utter disinterest (sometimes). If you could accidentally commit suicide simply by sinking into complete passivity, I’d’ve died a couple of years ago.

Well, maybe a good rant will get the blood flowing to my head again. Today’s topic? Let’s go with Chase Bank, N.A. (I believe the N.A. stands for North America, but I don’t care enough to Google it. I just added it because it looks official, and that’s how they refer to themselves in all their radio ads.) So in October or so of last year, Chase purchased my bank, Washington Mutual. At the time, WaMu held my checking account, my savings account, and my primary credit card. I had been fairly well satisfied, if not ecstatic, about the services provided for all of these accounts, and had been a loyal customer for eight years.

In February, I happened to be looking over my banking information to see if I needed to wait for a 1098 before filing my taxes, and I noticed that the amount of interest I’d accrued on my savings account seemed kind of low. In fact, when I added it up, I’d gotten a total of $8 for the entire year – on an average balance of $4,000. Digging a little deeper, I discovered that the interest rate (a pitiful 2.25% under the orginal WaMu terms) had, under the new Chase regime, been adjusted to 0.25%. That’s right – one-quarter of one percent. Let’s round that down so that we can more clearly see what it means. Zero point two five percent rounds down to – big surprise – zero! I could have made the same amount of money by stashing the cash under my bed, and then asking any one of my friends for eight dollars. And I would have saved the gas I spent getting to and from the bank. (Okay, usually I walk, but still.)

So I jumped ship. I did a little research, asked around, and moved my savings to ING Direct. (The interest rate there, in the interest of full disclosure, is not great at the moment. But it is over one percent, and, more importantly, it is guaranteed to adjust upward as the economy recovers, something I don’t trust Chase to do.) In the first month, ING gave me as much interest on $100 (my initial trial balance) as Chase gave me on the remaining $3600.

But honestly, I’d been meaning to switch my savings to a higher-yield account for a while, and the best ones are rarely at brick-and-mortar banks. I was disappointed in Chase – and a little insulted by the 0.25% interest rate – but not really bitter. Until last week.

I received my current credit card statement last Monday, and took until Thursday to get around to really looking at it. (I paid it online Wednesday, but that didn’t involve looking at the statement because I’d already budgeted how much I could afford to pay, and just transferred that amount. I’m trying to pay it down, so the amount I transfer is always more than the minimum.) When I did look, I was shocked. The interest rate was 2.25% higher than before – over ten percent.

I’ve never had a major credit card with an interest rate in double digits. Never. (I’m not counting store credit cards here – those always have terrible interest rates.) And my WaMu Visa had held steady for over five years. I called Chase to inquire. The girl on the phone was clearly of the opinion that I was wasting her valuable time. She first tried to make me feel stupid by telling me that Chase had sent me a letter informing me of the change a month ago. Which I’m sure they did. I try to read those “Terms and Conditions” pamphlets, but they’re practically indecipherable. I probably filed it without getting all the way through. I explained, politely, that I wasn’t denying I’d been properly informed, I was just wondering if there was any way Chase could review my account and see if I qualified for a lower interest rate. She informed me with irritation that Chase had already reviewed all the accounts they received from WaMu, and they would not take another look for at least six months, so that I could build up a “payment history”. I pointed out that my FICO score is almost 800, I’m using less than one-fourth of my available credit, and that I had a six-year “payment history” with WaMu, the last three years of which I had always paid more than the minimum. She informed me that Chase had “decided not to take that into account.” Then she tried to say goodbye so she could hang up on me. I interrupted and told her the next call Chase would receive from me would be to transfer my entire balance to a different bank. She told me to have a nice weekend in a tone that sounded like she would prefer it if I stepped in front of a city bus. I asked her to report my comments to her supervisor, wished her a nice weekend in a tone that implied I hoped she would spend it having a root canal with no anesthesia in a dentist’s office where “The Bird Is The Word” was stuck on endless repeat, and hung up, literally shaking with anger.

Half an hour later, I’d been approved for a Citi card with a rate almost as low as my old rate, and a promotional APR of zero percent. As soon as it comes in the mail, I’ll be transferring my balance. It’s not enough revenge on Chase, but at least it’s something. Since despite my love of the name I have not yet learned how to make a Molotov cocktail, it will have to do.

That, and denouncing Chase to my loyal circle of thousands (or at least, more than one) of blog readers. Ah, sweet revenge.

SemiGeekGirl refuses to apologize for her delusions of grandeur... but she will apologize for the lag between posts. She's sorry.